


Guess I’ll always be dancing on my own

by BearBear8



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders Angst, Crying, Eventual Happy Ending, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Multi, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Roman needs a hug, Song Lyrics, Swearing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-23
Updated: 2019-09-23
Packaged: 2020-10-26 19:58:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20747894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BearBear8/pseuds/BearBear8
Summary: Roman was tired. He was tired of being left out and forgotten. He was tired of being alone.





	Guess I’ll always be dancing on my own

**Author's Note:**

> Okay first of all, I AM SO SORRY I HAVENT UPDATED MY OTHER STORY YET!!! ;-; I promise, it’s coming soon I swear!! 
> 
> Second of all, I bring to you an angsty Roman one shot. (possible second chapter?) 
> 
> It’s!! Also a song fic!! I was extremely inspired when I heard Calum Scott’s dancing on my own cover, so I knew I had to write a fic for it. If you haven’t heard the song, I’ll leave ya a link right about heeerreeee! -> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q31tGyBJhRY or you could just google it yourself lmao. 
> 
> Without further ado, on with the Roman angst! 
> 
> (Oh! Also, quick side note, I slightly changed the song pronouns to he/him since in the song it’s she/her,,,,so yeah!)

Currently, Roman was laying down in his bed. His prince outfit laying crumpled to the side on his carpeted floor. He just didn’t feel very princely right now, instead opting for a simple red hoodie, and grey sweatpants.

He just wasn’t in the mood for his princely attire. He wasn’t in the mood for much currently, he was too sad and depressed for anything.

He knew he should go downstairs, he knew he should go to somebody, anybody, but what was the point? He knew they didn’t want him, so what was the point?

He knew that currently, Patton, Logan, and Virgil were probably all downstairs, cuddling on the couch, happy and together. While he wasn’t. He wasn’t a part of their relationship, he knew he had no place with them. It just, it just...hurt. It hurt that they were together, and he had no one. Hell, even his brother and Deceit were together! He even heard rumors of Picani and Sleep being together. Which left just him, just plain old Roman, left to the side.

  
_ **Somebody said you got a new friend  
Does he love you better than I can?** _

  
Roman wondered why, why was he left to the side? Left alone? Did he do something? Was he not good enough? That must be it, he must just not be good enough for them.

Soon enough, he felt tears run down his face. He angrily wiped them away, ashamed at himself. He should be happy. He should be so fucking happy that his fam- friends. That his friends have each other, have someone to love. But what was he doing? Laying in bed feeling sorry for himself, feeling sorry that it wasn’t him who got to hold Virgil when he was upset, that it wasn’t him that got to lay in Logan’s lap while he read books or worked, that it wasn’t him who got to cuddle with Patton on the couch, that it wasn’t him falling asleep next to the three of them.

  
Upset that it would never be him doing those things.

  
Oh well, he’d just have to get over it, he- he would....eventually. He’d have to.

  
** _And yeah, I know it's stupid  
But I just gotta see it for myself._ **

  
He couldn’t just lay here anymore though, he had to, he had to get up. To go see for himself, to accept it would never be him, that he’d never be a part of their relationship. If he saw it, he’d be able to move on.

Swinging his legs over the bed, he slowly stood up. Creeping over to his door, he opened it slowly, as not to make any noise.

Stepping out, he silently thanked himself for putting socks on, his steps slightly muffled on the wood floor. Slowly walking over to the steps, he froze at what he saw.

  
Virgil was sat on the couch, while Logan and Patton were slowly dancing together. Some love song quietly playing in the background. All three of them looked incredibly happy. He then he saw Patton lean in for a kiss, and Logan happily accept the gesture.

  
**_I'm in the corner, watching you kiss him, oh oh oh_  
_ And I'm right over here, why can't you see me? oh oh oh  
And I'm giving it my all, but I'm not the guy you're taking home, ooh  
I keep dancing on my own._**

  
Roman was going to be sick. Or he was going to cry again. Or both- oh, he already had started crying again. Silent tears streaming down his shocked face.

He wanted to leave, he wanted to run away and never come back, but he couldn’t, he was stuck in this moment, stuck in his mind. Question after question running through his head. 

_Why, why. Why wasn’t he good enough? Why couldn’t he be a part of it? Why._

He didn’t know, he wanted to know so badly. He wanted to know why he wasn’t asked to join, why he was left forgotten to the side. He wanted to know why.

  
**_I just wanna dance all night_  
_ And I'm all messed up, I'm so out of line, yeah.  
Stilettos and broken bottles  
I'm spinning around in circles._**

  
Maybe because he was broken? Is that why? Because he was, he was broken, crushed. He may not seem it, but he was. He was broken long before they announced their relationship, and he’s sure he’ll be broken long after. He was just so...tired. He was so, so tired all the time. He was tired of the fights he got in with the other sides, he was tired of all the questing he did for ideas. All for ideas that came back half formed and useless.

_Just like him._

He was so, so so tired of no one noticing. Of no one noticing the bruises he gained from being Thomas’ ego, of no one noticing the injures he gained from his quests. So tired of no one noticing the layers of makeup he wore to hide the bags under his eyes from barely sleeping.

  
Roman was tired. He was tired of being alone and forgotten.

  
He was tired of fighting.

  
He was brought back to reality when he saw Virgil get up from where he had been seated, walking over to Logan and Patton, he saw them both smile at him, before they each leaned over and gave him a chaste kiss on his lips. They then opened their arms, allowing Virgil to join them in their dance, all three smiling, faces as bright as the sun.

  
Roman thought they all looked gorgeous, handsome, the most beautiful beings he’s ever laid eyes on.

  
_They’ll never be yours, though._

His mind whispered to him cruelly. Reminding him of the truth.

  
**** **_And I'm giving it my all, but I'm not the guy you're taking home, ooh  
And I keep dancing on my own  
And oh no._**

  
And the truth was, they would never be his. They just wouldn’t. He would never be allowed to partake in their dances, in their cuddle piles, their chaste and sweet kisses. He wouldn’t be allowed it.

  
He tried so, so hard though. He tried to get along, and be someone you’d want to be with. But alas, it wasn’t enough, nor would it ever be enough. He’d just never be able to call them his.

_He would never be enough._

  
**_ So far away but still so near_  
_ The lights come up, the music dies  
But you don't see me standing here  
I just came to say goodbye._**

  
It hurt, it hurt knowing all he ever wanted was so, so close. Right in his reach. But he’d never be allowed it. He had to leave, he had to, he had to say goodbye and just leave.

  
**** **_I'm in the corner, watching you kiss him, oh  
And I'm giving it my all, but I'm not the guy you're taking home, ooh  
I keep dancing on my own._**

  
He saw them all lean in, foreheads touching, appearing to just be soaking in the others presence. He almost felt..bad. Like he was intruding in their moment. Which, he supposed he was doing just that, even if it was unintentional.

**_And oh no_  
_ Sit down in the corner, watching you kiss him, oh no_  
And I'm right over here, why can't you see me? oh no  
And I'm giving it my all, but I'm not the guy you're taking home, ooh  
I keep dancing on my own.**

  
He couldn’t take it anymore, he couldn’t. He slid down to the floor, burying his head in his knees, tears streaming down his face. Why, why, why did no one ever notice him? Why was he forgotten? Why? Why would he never be good enough? Why would he always have to dance on his own? Why?

  
**** **_So far away, but still so near  
The lights come up, the music dies  
But you don't see me standing here._**

  
As he sat there, crying to himself, he heard their music turn off, saw the lights turn back on, and the rest of the sides fall onto the couch, all smiles and laughs. He knew he had to leave now. He had no choice. He didn’t want to, but he had to.

_They’ll never want you, they don’t love you, not even as a friend. They never did. You mean nothing to them, they’d be better off without you, they are better off without you. Do everyone a favor and get out of here for good. Leave, don’t come back._

His mind whispered every cruel word possible to him, and he believed them. Because who would want to be with him? No one would, obviously.

  
Finally, he heard them start to get up. So, drying his tears, he stood up and left. He left to go back to his room, to go and leave like they would want.

  
Before he left, he took one last glance at the people he could never be with. Noticing Virgil’s relaxed expression, the way Logan allowed himself to melt into the others for once, the wide smile that graced Patton’s face.

  
Eventually he left, sinking down into his room. He noticed how happy they had looked, without him there, without him. Collapsing into his bed, he cried himself to sleep that night, knowing that he was never meant to be with them, and that it never would be.

  
_They would never love him._

**Author's Note:**

> Oh. Boi. 
> 
> That, that hurt to write. I’m so sorry for any hurt I might’ve caused😂😂 
> 
> So like,,,would you guys want a second chapter to this?? (I’ve already got ideas in my head but it’s up to y’all-) I dunno, just let me know? XD 
> 
> Also! I’ve never done a fic like this before?? So I hope it was okay/made sense? I just think song fics are cool so-
> 
> Well I hope you enjoyed! Bye guys! Take care of y’all selves!


End file.
